Blue Libra Moon: The Photoset That Almost Made Me Quit Everything (Corrected and Updated)

But instead became my whole new brand.

Correction from 6/20/2025:

When you work with the wrong draft at 3AM, disasters happen. I apologize, what was sent was the original zero draft. I just added the photos to the wrong draft, scheduled it, and passed out. I also sent the Wednesday post as a paid post and not a free one because it was in my head that subscriptions are off.

I know this means I need to reconsider this schedule, so what I’m doing is melding the “what I wore” section and the “End of the Night” sets, but not committing to them all posting before my head hits the pillow after a show.

Hopefully, this helps!

So, back in April, there was a full moon in Libra. I have four Libra placements, including my rising sign, so I decided to play with some looks. Anything related to Libra energy is about beauty, so I went for a vibe that felt like airy haze and moonlight.

This wasn’t supposed to be my rebrand or anything—just some pretty pictures while my socials are still small and I take time to commit to things. I didn’t think it would mean anything more than a fun aesthetic moment.

Whoops.

First, just to explain what this was about—what the idea behind it was.

At this point, it’s pretty much a given that I’ll bring glitter into any look I can, even if it’s a little over the top for the occasion. So I started thinking about how to create the kind of shade and lighting I love to play with… but using no opaque color at all. The challenge was to build an entire look out of just glitter and shimmer.

At the same time, I’d been working with some baby blue pieces of clothing because I wanted that fresh, springtime feeling. I chose blue partly because it brings out my eyes, and partly because I love the way it pairs with red hair and pale skin—there’s something really striking about that combination when it comes together.

The tricky part was that this kind of look doesn’t always translate well in person. When you layer that much product, it can start to look plastic up close—so I was working against that, too.

It sounds conceptual, I know—and it is—but really, it was more about not wanting to ruin the idea of disappearing into vapor, while still keeping some depth. I didn’t want my entire face to go flat. I still wanted to look like a person, with features.

I have this box of Lemonhead LA glitters that I’m completely addicted to. There’s honestly nothing like them on the market. It’s superior to any other brand, at least until someone else comes along and tops them.

So then... why did I almost quit? Well… I got reckless. I’m so used to being around goths who don’t treat exposed skin or cleavage like it’s a big deal. If anything, they’ll say it’s pretty, maybe someone will sweetly flirt a little, look at me all moony—but that’s usually the extent of it.

The evidence of all this lives in the short videos I filmed to go along with the look when I planned to post it after the full moon… which never actually happened. I ended up feeling too self-conscious. I’ve become more shy than people seem to realize.

Just because I don’t care about cleavage doesn’t mean I expected it to be a big deal among the people who’ve followed my main accounts for years. Most of us are goths or edgy in some way—we’re fully adult about attraction, and stuff like this usually isn’t a thing. Even if we do find something sexy, it doesn’t feel like a big deal when you're standing next to everyone else in our world.

But I felt a little luscious in this one—there’s a lot of bare skin with this tiny mesh dress. That’s kind of the point, though. The look is meant to feel like stepping into a fresh glow that’s just starting to warm up. Like… oh no… I’ve got too much going on with my figure.

I posted a few photos from this look—just the ones you can see on my profiles—and I really liked how it turned out. Apparently, others did too. Some folks online ended up making these funny comments about how I looked, and honestly, they were kind of adorable.

One thread was like, “You look like…” followed by a Ferris wheel of wildly inventive compliments. It was all entertaining, harmless, and surprisingly charming when you're someone who writes and is a soon-to-be-former academic.

A lot of my style choices are actually rooted in interesting early modern poetry tropes. In that tradition, imperfection was often used as a way to re-interpret poetry ideals reflected in poetry, so, to some degree, they’re just as much about the clever turn of phrase around the accepted topic.

Most people interested in these topics know Shakespeare’s “Dark Lady,” but it’s also in poems where a single thread out of place or a sleeve slightly off becomes this symbol of beloved imperfection.

So that little falling strap? To me, it was exactly that. Yes, it’s sexy—but no more than anything else I post. The Libra full moon set was about settling into my imperfections unapologetically and then seeing if I could play with air sign ideas. It was about this concept of intermittent invisibility…and also ultra femme, which is purposefully countering my typical menswear looks

It was about echoing that poetic imperfection, not just about the look.

I posted a few photos and was still figuring out how to share the full set, but I went ahead and put up this video as a way to be kind to myself, especially around the weight gain that started back in December. I just…. wanted to experiment a little at the time.

And honestly? I can look kind of juicy like this. I surprised myself by thinking that thick was actually pretty cute; I was feeling happier about it than I expected.

Annnnnd that’s when some new faces showed up and said things to me that I still can’t believe they thought were appropriate. And NO—nothing in those photos or videos was “asking for” that kind of response.

I ended up scrapping the entire photo set. I left up just a few photos, took the video down, and decided not to share anything else from that shoot.

I wanted to disappear, not because I felt ashamed, but because I felt defeated by my anxieties in my life on the Internet. It’s like there’s a message to be shared about self-acceptance, but then yet another one about caution on the Internet. But again, this is all so TAME.

When I began the full rebrand, I had AI art because I didn’t know how to use my personal experience to talk about topics in ways that do not confuse my experience with anyone else’s, while also avoiding that kind of attention.

But no, I didn’t expect that response. I’m almost 50. I was told I’d expire by now. We’re playing with this concept of invisibility middle-aged women like myself are expected to feel. We were told we would, but…..it’s more complicated than that.

But my friend said not to use AI art, and I knew that would be an issue. He’s right. So….instead, I reached back into the ways I feel about my invisibility in the past, about the ways I dissociate mid-sentence due to C-PTSD, and how I can never tell if anyone sees me when I go places when nobody talks to me.

It’s like asking, “hey can you see me right now?” The answer is only “no” or “yes, but too much… be invisible again.”

But I’m out here being autistic and funny and unmasked in ways that not everyone is gonna care for….and I reached back into this set, chose it for the art, increased the blur on the photo for an almost transparent look,and this is how we got here:

I can’t make choices to please others OR to make sure I stay hidden when the entire point is to say things about me and my life in ways that other people can respond to from their OWN sense of self.

And I dunno if it’s any better to hide than it is to show this much skin, so I’m just… staying the course and white-knuckling through it.